Petr’s Story

Read what happened when Petr attempted to resolve his financial difficulties by taking on multiple jobs at the same time.  It's a great example of Jesus's words - of being given the wrong thing when asking for help, but then discovering that God's solution is something so much better.

My name is Petr, from Czechia. My wife is British and her parents are from Nevis in the Caribbean. We have a beautiful 10 year old daughter. The moment she was born, I have been totally consumed by the desire to be the best husband and father I could be.

When my daughter was born, she was premature. Seeing her as frail and delicate, I have felt a passion to be her provider and protector. My wife has several medical conditions including MS and fibromyalgia. She is a talented artist with a Masters’ degree, but life has dealt her a difficult hand and her pain relief medication often makes her very tired. Over recent years I’ve been crushed by my responsibilities and workload while providing for my family.

I came to England 20 years ago. My wife and I met, fell in love and married four years later. Some of my family live in Slovakia and some of my relations live in Czechia. Since leaving home, I have always missed the support of my immediate family.

My father died when I was a young lad, falling asleep at the wheel after a long day at work and subsequently crashing his car. I miss my dear mother so very much, who passed away very suddenly ten years ago, soon after my daughter had her first birthday. I’ve always wished she had been here to guide me through the last few years. If you’ve lived in another country, separated from your parents and close relations, maybe you can understand the yearning I’ve had for my mother’s sound advice. I do believe she would have given me guidance (plus a good slap) if she had seen what a mess I was getting myself into.

Things started to go wrong in small ways. I was debt-free when I married. I had been a hotel night manager for 15 years with a great work history, regularly being promised promotion. However, those promotions never materialised. I took on additional work as a freelance interpreter working for the NHS, Social Services and the City Council. I worked nights in order to support my wife and family in daily tasks, and I sometimes took on day shifts to make ends meet.

I would often be doing at least 50 miles a day to get to my work, arriving home at 8am to get the family organised for the day and get my daughter ready for school. My life was predominately work, work, work—and I was feeling jaded.

I felt I needed more security for the family, so I applied for another job at the Hilton Hotel. When I got that job, working 11pm to 7am, I felt like the luckiest man alive! My relations in Czechia were so proud of me, in a uniform, representing the company and speaking the Queen’s English.

Home life was tough as I did whatever I could during the day and helped my family get into bed by 10.30pm, only to return home for 8am in the morning to start the cycle all over again. However, I was starting to crack under the pressure of a relentless work cycle.

The emotional cost was heavy as my wife and I weren’t sharing our feelings much, and things sometimes seemed rather heavy-going. I was just getting so exhausted. We had a fridge full of food and all our bills were paid...but is this what life is all about?

When Covid came in 2020, the hotel trade was badly hit. I had been at the Hilton for 11 months on a full contract but, as there was very little income coming in, I was on the list to be “released from my duties”.

I was gutted, but soon secured another job as a long-distance van driver. I was lured into this job thinking it would provide work, stability and a little self-esteem for my macho image. I had heard of the healthy payments for self-employed lorry drivers but the reality was a nightmare.

I had to legally lease the vehicle from the company, insure it myself and drive it for a full three weeks doing deliveries to Scotland before the company reimbursed the cash for the petrol. And, they didn’t cover the return journey to Birmingham. What a scam it all was. Driving up and down to Scotland for the first month incurred costs of £1,500, which I put on another credit card. I later realised in horror that I was only £200 up, after costs, for all the time I had put in.

To make matters worse, I was so tired and stressed I had omitted to tell Birmingham City Council my financial income pattern had changed. Consequently I was ordered to repay some of our previously-received housing benefit. I admit it was my error, but it was an unintentional mistake, as I usually pride myself on my integrity.

Then the inevitable happened—I was on the motorway when I ran into the back of another vehicle. Luckily no one was injured, but the vehicle was a write-off. I lost a load of money in that instant and had to pay the insurance costs and stop the lease agreement. I was thankful that the accident hadn’t been worse.

I had visions of how my life had deteriorated to this punishing treadmill, striving to earn more and more. I could have ended up like my dad, who 30 years ago, had fallen asleep at the wheel on his way home from work and died in a car crash.

Now I was really in a lot of debt and so I took out an Individual Voluntary Agreement (IVA) to put all my debts in, making one monthly payment that needed to be paid. What had started as a small financial problem had now grown into a massive problem. I was still taking night work so I could keep a wage rolling in, but I was broken and not communicating with my wife about our money problems.

I did some research and saw that Riverside Church could offer some advice. It took a lot of courage to talk to my wife and tell her the details of what was happening. She was very hurt and bitterly disappointed that I had not had the confidence in her to share these burdens. She propelled me to make an appointment to get help from Riverside Money Advice.

I was fearful and felt very exposed when I went for that first meeting. I wasn’t judged and was encouraged to share all my story. I was advised that the IVA was unsustainable and a bad fit for me. There was no way, with my wife’s medical needs and my family responsibilities, that I could continue to work these ridiculous hours. I realised the company administering the IVA had not given me a range of options and they had not discussed a Debt Relief Order (DRO) as a possibility.

Riverside Money Advice gave me detailed advice. The IVA company didn’t want to release the lock they had on my life. I was trapped and they were making money off of me in this situation. Trying to extradite myself from their grip was very difficult and I found it all very daunting. I was also advised by Riverside that I would have to get rid of our second car that I had bought on hire purchase. That was a hard blow. Keeping the small mobility car was all we could afford.

I was forced to admit it was a Catch-22 to do night-time work anywhere other than on a bus route. I would have to start riding a bike! I acknowledged we had to make some lifestyle changes. It was a relief seeing the maths worked out by the adviser!

This was a big change of direction for me and my family. Rather than trying to work every hour that God had given me, and expecting it all to work out, I had to stop, put proper boundaries in place, and adjust to a new lifestyle: really taking care of my family.

All our family finances had to be changed to reflect that reality, and to live within the provision of the benefits that were there all along. For households living with illness and disability, we are blessed to live in a country where there are support mechanisms to provide for situations where earning income is not possible. The encouragements and prayer from the team at Riverside led me to be open with my wife and tell her the full extent of what had been going on, and what would be required to get us completely out of the hole that we were in.

Then another problem came our way. A forced transition to Universal Credit denied us five weeks’ income and forced me to get an Advance Payment, which of course had to be repaid. I had been like a rat on a treadmill going nowhere fast, and we had no financial cushion to fall back on. What a humbling experience, applying for free school meals and other discretionary help, but I was learning the consequences of my actions. I looked upon this situation as a timing issue, one that had to be manoeuvred carefully with the support of Riverside.

Then, in November 2023, a few things started to happen. Riverside had written to our creditors explaining the extenuating circumstances and one creditor wrote off my debt completely! But, my wife and I were forced to recognise that our debts were in excess of £30,000—which at time was above the threshold that a Debt Relief Order could address. I had always grown up to recognise that if you got into debt you had to somehow find the money to pay back the debt, but this was a hard blow—our hopes had been raised and we were anticipating now that somehow our misery could cease.

Then the biggest breakthrough ever came along. At the end of March 2024, the Chancellor raised the scope of Debt Relief Orders from £30,000 to £50,000. When I heard the news from Riverside, I remember messaging back to the team saying my heart was filled with joy. I was so grateful for all the work, time, effort and expertise that Riverside had showered upon us as a family. I could see clearly the complex steps they had taken to afford us a dignified exit to the horrendous pressure we had been under.

Our rollercoaster ride was not over yet, as things weren’t resolved all in one go. The transition to Universal Credit had flushed out an overpayment of Tax Credits and Housing Benefit which added to the debt figures. His Majesty’s Revenue & Customs (HMRC) split these amounts equally between us, meaning that it wasn’t just me that was in debt now, but now my wife as well. Riverside widened the scope of work to apply for a Debt Relief Order for her as well. Shortly afterwards, in August 2024, both were submitted. I could immediately see the positive effect on my wife’s wellbeing. I sensed her relief that we are going to be able to enjoy a positive and debt-free future together. My mess had unwittingly become my wife’s mess and it had impacted on her physical and mental wellbeing.

Now we are freed from this pressure we can start to rebuild our relationship and learn to live with a lifestyle within our means. I never want to betray my wife’s trust in me ever again. Now we are growing closer and I can live with her having some control on our finances. She dishes out the “pocket money” to me and our daughter on a Friday and I am not ashamed to talk to our beautiful daughter about how we are going to spend it wisely. I want her to learn the financial skills that are needed in this life—the sooner she learns how to manage money well, the better her life will be in the future.

If I had to offer a piece of advice to someone, I would say: Don’t carry things on your own shoulders, whatever the situation. Share things with your partner and don’t keep them in the dark. Relationships grow through working together to solve problems. Listen, all of those who want to provide and protect: Don’t get too hung up on your macho image. It takes strength and confidence to seek help. We should all learn to rely on each other a bit more, so we function as a family and a community.

When we keep things secret, it creates a power and bondage over us, that crushes us, creates shame and makes us prisoner. Reaching out for help requires courage and a leap of faith – when we are crying out, our cries are heard and there is hope and rescue to be found. I am now passionate about making the world a better place to live in, so that my Mum, when she looks down on me from above, smiles proudly at her big son and his precious family.